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Poetry
November 2009 
Two Thumbs Up!
Posted on Jan 7th, 2008
by 
Dryad
Dryad
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My Dearest Zaadz Friends,
I can truthfully say, I have never had anything quite like this happen to me before. Here are the highlights - not necessarily in order, but pretty close. This is the third major surgery I have had in three years. I was prayed through the first one by the grace of stone and shell, lifted through the second by the gifting of eleven wild turkeys, but I have never had anything quite like this happen to me before.
* I have never had such a huge, warm feeling of being cared for by so many. I feel circles wrapped around circles, within circles. Each element of these circles is a person, together these people are a single, flowing, weaving labyrinth of love. I have stopped literally crying so much, but metaphorically I am still sitting at the center of this labyrinth soaking beauty, love, light and healing like a sponge - remember that sponge? Those of you who know about this, follow my metaphor. I have stopped crying, for the tears are flowing in, marvelous floods of kaleidoscopic light. What is flowing into the sponge this time - this sponge that is me - THIS does not need to be wrung out. THIS just keeps filling and filling. Here I am, still with my sponge back (it seems quite literally) able to hold more beauty, more light, more love than I ever thought existed. When I start squeezing this sponge into the world it will be to heal. I have so much in me from this one experience that I won’t ever even need to take in any more, though I know that I will . . . . it will continue to flow forever. I said my back was a metaphoric sponge. That metaphor is on it’s head and it is one of the most intensely spiritual things that I have ever experienced. I will try to make this all more coherent one of these more coherent days.
* They biopsied both sides of the collapsed bone as well as the one below it. The initial “gross diagnoses” was that the “dark red, hemorrhagic soft tissue, was entirely pulverized.” The initial diagnosis was occult carcinoma. To test for this malignancy, they then ran an immunostain. Paraffin-embedded sections are stained using an immunoperoxidase technique. The keratin cocktail showed no evidence of occult carcinoma. Because of the original, visual diagnosis, the test was repeated with two other tissue sections, a total of three times, which all showed NO EVIDENCE AT ALL OF OCCULT CARCINOMA.
* I’m typing this off of the Pathology report. I don’t understand a lot of the words and don’t completely know what any of it means except that what was left of the bone looked like icky mush. (The Path report used the word “Gross” - yeah! I thought so.) What was there looked malignant, but when the test was run - three times - there was no evidence of any malignancy. I didn’t tell the surgeon that people have been sitting around my metaphoric, virtual bed writing and painting on the walls, I just said I was very pleased, humbled and told him thank you.
* Don’t you think “occult carcinoma” sounds particularly wicked? Like that look you sometimes get when you ask for Joseph Campbell and they say, “those books are back in the occult section.” I also think a keratin cocktail sounds kind of nasty, but I’m glad mine said what it did. I’m still on some pretty heavy duty narcotics so I don’t get any cocktails at all, but when I get feeling better I’ll throw a Virtual Cocktail party. BYOK (Bring Your Own Keratin.) Isn’t Keratin what they put in all that fantastic replenishing hair conditioner? Why would you want a Keratin Cocktail and why is it in my bones?
hg cocktail 2
KeratinF9
* I am frustrated, but, once again, very humble and willing to obey when my surgeon tells me that I have at least two more weeks “in bed.” I am having ideas on top of ideas, half thoughts that suddenly turn into huge global concepts. I am trying very hard to be good, taking notes rather than trying to finish things, sleeping when my body tells me to sleep, walking slowly, stretching gently. Those of you with fibromyalgia know that two weeks of being completely immobile is a huge ugly thing in and of itself. This too shall pass.
* After a month, I get a Physical Therapist who will help me go from gentle stretches to work that will build muscles that will guard the fragile bone. The Australian surgeon told me that my spine is a “bloody mess.” This means that since it isn’t malignant, what it IS, is very early, very fast moving Spinal Osteoporosis. Part of this has to do with an inability to hold vitamin D and thus calcium. You can take huge doses and your body just dumps it all instead of using it. This is part of fibromalgia, that nasty little stinker. I don’t care much for Spinal Osteoporosis, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.
*I said to the surgeon (being wildly facetious) “I guess this means I won’t ever ski again.” He just shrugged and said, “Vertebra are undoubtably going to break again. What we know now, is that we can shore them up. You might break a bone turning fast, you might fall on the ice in the parking lot, it might just happen. It probably will just happen. Several times. Or you might do it skiing. It’s totally up to you.” What do you think about THAT? It nearly blew me away. I’ve penciled in a note to think about it some time in about two months.
* The other thing is this. My Grandmother had osteoporosis. She started out being 5'7". She was about 4'11" when she died - from a fall that wasn't even a fall. She put her hand on the hot car and instinctively pulled away. The twisting broke her hip. My father caught her, she never even hit the ground. Her vertebra cracked and then collapsed down against each other one after the other, and her back bent further and further until she was a tiny, fragile woman with a humped back, bent almost double. Dr. Miracle O’Sullivan can take needles and supper glue and shore mine up as they crack, so THAT isn’t going to happen to me either. Medicine is amazing. The world is amazing. Zaadz is amazing. You are amazing. Maybe I am going to ski again.
Shytei, get the bota bag, I’ll meet you on top of High Rustler.
* Right now I am making notes on the idea of compiling a selection of paintings for the hospital that have directly to do with healing. Come to my bedside and see what is painted on the wall.
http://pods.zaadz.com/play_pod/discussions/view/217770
HEALING ART
Imagine THIS feeling on a hospital's walls instead of picturesque barns and vague, impersonal pastorals. Imagine some of these words where people could read them as they walk the halls. Have you ever had to walk those halls of waiting? What an idea. The rooms themselves have no pictures in them at all. This must be for reasons of keeping things clean, sterile etc. But somewhere there must be frames that are made to be easily and quickly wiped down just for this purpose. If there are not, someone needs to invent them. There must be research out there on art and healing from this perspective. One of the characters in my book is an Art Therapist, I’ll ask her. (I actually really had that thought.)
My good friend and fellow dimension slider Jena says she is ‘dreaming big dreams.’ Perhaps it is an epidemic. I believe she probably started it, up there in the 4th dimension. She is a dangerous woman of multiplexious, magnificent dimensional directions and delicious dreams. What is the meaning of one hand clapping? Yoj. Take that. Reverse it. Evol . . . . take that one, the beginning of Evolution, think you?
*One thing I DO know, is that THIS painting, is going to be professionally framed and hung on the wall next to my bed. Even when I am no longer spending most of my time there.
For Dryad
* Next to my metaphorical bed ~ the art is magnificent ~ the words heart felt and heart breaking with beauty. There are so many wondrous, specific things I want to talk about - from comments on my Blog, zaadz-mail messages and from the writing & art on my Bedroom Wall. That will have to come slowly. It takes me three days to do something that I used to be able to do in a few minutes. And I thought I was handicapped before! And I am learning. I've literally been working on this for three days. I got this message almost done last night and then just sort of imploded. And I am learning.
* In my quiet bed, I am studying some very basic sacred geometry and coloring Mandalas with markers and colored pencils. I did my first REAL water color - with real paint, not on the computer. It wasn’t bad. I bought these special cards that are made for doing water color. I got mine all done, decided it wasn’t bad and then realized that I had done the painting on the envelope not the card. Typical. Really, though, I think it has a lot of possibilities. You just send someone the envelope with nothing in it. Move over Dada - not only anti-art, this is anti-anything . . . there is *Twang* Nothing There.
* Another thing I am working on is Mudras - Yoga for hands.
O snail, Climb Mount Fuji,
But slowly, slowly!
(Kobayashi Issa)
* And, Oh, yes, you CAN tell people that you know someone who went to Disney Land and rode the Matterhorn and Space Mountain (several times) with a broken back. It was definitely already broken when I climbed on the aerodynamic space ship and went blazing off into another world with both arms above my head into a screaming stream of singing stars. Also fairly typical.
* From now on, however, I intend to behave myself and never do anything wild or crazy again. And if you believe that, I have some lovely swamp land I’d like to sell you, just to the west of Coos Bay. I'd sell you my Bota Bag too, if I knew where it was.
* I have done a little bit of painting on the computer before my wacom pen just up and quit working. SO something doesn’t want me sitting up and painting. How subtle. The subject matter was a little strange anyway.
Spine Chakra Strings
Spine Chakra Strings Writing
HOW I SPENT THE YULE SOLSTICE - 2007
Winter Solstice Moon
* More as soon as ‘tis possible. Blessings and Love to all.
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