My Dearest Friends ~
I haven’t a clue where to even begin. During the last two weeks while I was supposed to be flat on my back, I snuck into the computer occasionally and opened my Blog, looked at my mail and went quickly through the festivities going on by my bedside. Those of you who know me well will know that this is exactly what I would prefer. Even if I knew I were on my way into the night, unlike poor Dylan Thomas’s father, I would not rage at the dying of the light. I’d prefer to party. After the operation in 2005 that took quite a few of my internal organs, the nurse was appalled to come into my room and find it full of full of ten daughters all laughing and writing bad limericks on the dry erase board - complete with stick figures. The nurse, pressed her lips together and said, “there is much too much fun going on in here.” She was serious. I pointed out that “too much” and “fun” just might be oxymorons.
In the last few weeks I couldn’t sit up long enough to even read the messages, but the sheer numbers made me cry and I had to go back to bed and try not to shake too hard with the sobs, because shaking, like everything else, hurt like hell. Never in my life have I felt so loved by so many - by so many who really know me, with all my quirks, and love me anyway.
Before I went to the hospital, my husband printed the messages for me and we put them in a binder. He also printed the incredible healing art work. That we put around the room. Just about everyone who walked in the door said something to the extent of, “This is how a hospital room ought to be furnished. Forget the generic impressionistic prints and quaint country sides - bring on the images of love, health and healing . . . light held in healing hands, that circle of healing that stretches around the world.
The operation was on Friday afternoon and was complete successful. Even thought the vertebra was pulverized and smashed until is was practically dissolved, the “cement” shored it up, nothing leaked, it went beautifully. It is a new procedure that has it’s skeptics. All I have to say is that I’ll bet very few of those skeptics are people in the unrelenting, searing pain that a broken vertebra causes.
http://www.goodnewsblog.com/2005/08/28/cure-of-choice-for-broken-vertebrae-cement
I was ecstatic that it worked for me, when there was a fairly high chance it would not. I know the dangers of opening a spinal column. To those of you who stood by with thoughts, energy, prayers, I can only say thank you and try in some way to let you know how very much is held in those two words: Gratitude. Belief. Appreciation. Hope. Honor. Awareness. Love.
Of course there is always a good news/bad news element. We didn’t make it home to Utah for Christmas for the first time in my life. My entire family goes every other year and it is a time for family and deeply honored traditions. I am so sorry to miss it, but my kids drove in tonight from San Diego, so my nuclear family is all here. On Boxing Day the kids will take my son-in-love Eric sledding for the first time in his life. Can you imagine? He is 25 years old and has never been sledding! As someone who grew up on skies, this is extremely odd to me.
The other good news/bad news is a very elevated blood count that could be liver or bone marrow problems which showed up in the pre-op bloodwork. It would explain the complete disintegration of the bone though I am only 53. Bone cancer is the worst scenario. They took several biopsies while they removed the broken bone to clear the way for the cement. This will take more than a week to resolve as it has to “go out” to be analyzed. Even after that, it is rare enough that the doctor couldn’t even tell me what might happen next. So I begin the waiting game - but I do it in so much less pain. I still hurt from fibro, from not moving for two weeks and from the general anaesthetic, incisions and foreign stuff in the body, but the difference is night and day. And I wait with the sound of your words and payers in my mind and your pictures of healing behind my eyes.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And Everything that goes with it.
I had hoped to have a lot of fun stuff for December - it is the Grand-Daddy of all months for Celebration. I may send some of them along a little late. This was to be the picture to go with the December Celebrations. I told Kat about it while I was in California, but couldn’t access it and then . . . well. Here it is now. Telling about the “Light’s of Winter.” Tomorrow I hope I can get up the article that goes with it.
In 2005 my surgery was at the Vernal Equinox, Ostara. In 2006 I had a radical hysterectomy on June 21 - Litha, the Summer Solstice. Friday’s surgery was on the day of Yule, the Winter Solstice. Warded by something I don’t even completely understand - I am still here.
I hope to get back to each of you personally soon - especially new members of Play Pod. We have a nice Welcome Letter, but I am the only one who gets the news that you have joined so those letters have been held up. They will be coming - in the meanwhile please DO be welcome and jump right in and play! I’m still restricted on the time I can sit up, so it may take some time. Please do know how very much I appreciate your caring and sharing at this cross road of my life. A special thank you to the Play Pod Mod Squad for being themselves - which is saying a great deal.
Love and Blessings ~ Dryad
Edwina
Lights of Winter-writing
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Poetry
November 2009 
Dryad
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